Unlocking Emotional Awareness

Joan

Alright, let’s dive into something fundamental today—emotional awareness. You know, it’s like, emotional awareness is the bedrock of emotional intelligence… and, let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to be better at managing their emotions, right?

Joan

I mean, we often see emotional intelligence as this incredible superpower, influencing everything from our relationships to our success at work. But it all really starts with understanding, like, what you’re feeling in the first place.

Brunello

Right, Joan. And this is where we need to think carefully. Emotional awareness… it’s not just knowing when you feel happy or sad. It’s, uh, much... deeper than that.

Brunello

Without this skill, I’ve seen even the best teams fall apart. I, um, once consulted with a company—an exceptional workforce, truly—but they struggled with honest conversations because no one recognized how their own emotions shaped their decisions. It created, you know, layers of hidden tension.

Joan

So basically, if you’re not aware of what you’re feeling, you’re already at a disadvantage.

Joan

That’s where Daniel Goleman’s research comes in. He says that recognizing and, uh, naming emotions... accurately... is step one in emotional intelligence. Not step two. It’s step one.

Joan

Think about it. If you can’t label what you’re feeling, how can you, like, stop yourself from acting impulsively? Or manage anything, really?

Brunello

Exactly. And, uh, let’s take this further. Lisa Feldman Barrett challenges the way we typically approach emotions. She argues they’re not simple categories like happy or sad. Instead, it’s nuanced. You… might feel restless or bittersweet. There are nuanced aspects to consider.

Brunello

Her work also highlights the role of language. Having more words to describe emotions can enrich how you experience and manage them. For example…

Joan

Wait, wait. More words? Like, just expanding your emotional vocabulary can really change how you feel?

Brunello

Oh, absolutely. When you have, let’s say, a better toolkit, you gain precision. And precision helps you regulate emotions more effectively. It’s an incredible shift in understanding.

Joan

That’s huge… and probably why this is such a foundational skill.

Joan

Right, so if expanding your emotional vocabulary can shift how you experience and manage emotions, then how do we start building that kind of awareness? I mean, emotional awareness doesn’t just happen by chance, right? You have to work at it. Journaling has been a significant transformation for me.

Joan

I’ve, like, started sitting down every night—just, you know, jotting down how I felt, maybe looking for patterns. It’s amazing how you start to see triggers, like... oh, this thing always stresses me out, or... I get super excited when I do that.

Brunello

Journaling, yes—it’s such a simple yet powerful practice. And, uh, it’s something I also encourage when working with leaders. But let’s expand this idea. In multicultural contexts, as I’ve observed, we may express emotions…differently.

Brunello

For instance, the way joy is shown in Italy might not, uh, look the same in Japan. Recognizing such differences can teach us to become both more mindful and empathetic, even as we reflect on our personal emotions.

Joan

Wow. So journaling doesn’t just teach you about yourself—it opens your eyes to, like, those cultural layers? That’s incredible.

Brunello

Indeed. And then there’s the idea of, uh, regular emotional checks. As much as journaling gives us a broader picture, we also need these little moments of awareness throughout the day.

Joan

Okay, pause. Like emotional pit stops?

Brunello

Exactly. Picture quick self-assessments, you know? You stop, ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now? Why?” Tools like the Emotion Wheel… they can really help. You might discover an emotion you’ve, uh, been ignoring.

Joan

That’s so true. And it can feel a bit strange at first, right? But seriously, what’s the one emotion you find hardest to manage? Like, for me, I used to struggle with articulating frustration. It came out as, I don’t know, more like sarcasm or… even avoidance.

Brunello

Ah, frustration—yes, it’s one of those emotions where the underlying triggers, or, uh, the unmet needs, are often hidden. And that’s why setting small goals can be so influential. You aren’t trying to understand every emotion all at once.

Joan

You mean baby steps?

Brunello

Absolutely. Choose one goal. Maybe, “Today, I’ll identify my emotions at least three times.” Or, as you said earlier, journal every evening. It’s about consistency. That’s how you, uh, build momentum.

Joan

Small changes, big impact. I love that.

Joan

Therefore, in light of the emotional pit stops and baby steps we previously discussed, I am inquisitive as to what is transpiring in our minds during this period. Like, how does it actually work, this process of constructing emotions?

Joan

When I first read Lisa Feldman Barrett's research, it was truly mind-blowing. She says that emotions aren’t just reactions happening to us. They’re, like, actively constructed by our brains.

Brunello

Yes, and this idea... it’s quite profound. Our emotions are not simply… responses to external events. They’re shaped by our brain, combining sensory input with, uh, memories and experiences.

Joan

Exactly. Basically, we’re not as passive as we might think. We actually have this incredible capacity to reshape how we feel by reframing situations and, you know, giving new meaning to them.

Brunello

Yes, reframing emotions is powerful. I worked with a multilingual team recently, where, uh, misunderstandings in negotiations were common. Many of these, uh, stemmed from emotional misinterpretations—frustration mistaken for anger, for example.

Brunello

But once they began... labeling their emotions precisely and discussing them openly, the dynamic completely shifted. Negotiations became, uh, smoother, and the team achieved… remarkable results.

Joan

Oh wow. So even in, like, high-stakes environments, just understanding and reframing emotions can change the whole game?

Brunello

Absolutely. And it’s a skill that anyone can develop. If we practice, uh, regularly identifying and reinterpreting our emotions, we shift from being controlled by them to actively managing them.

Joan

And that’s exactly what I love about Barrett’s perspective. We’re not stuck feeling “bad” or “overwhelmed.” By consciously working on this, we can take charge of our emotional landscapes.

Brunello

Indeed. It’s about consistency, as we’ve discussed before. These small, intentional efforts build into something, uh, transformative—spanning across personal growth, relationships, and even professional environments.

Joan

Right. And it’s a journey, not a quick fix, yeah? Like, one step, one reflection, one reframing at a time until it feels, I guess, more natural. It’s really empowering when you think about it.

Joan

Well, that’s all for today, everyone. Thanks for tuning in—and remember, emotional awareness is your superpower. By taking small steps, you'll be astounded by the progress you can make. On that note, we’ll see you next time!