Understanding Power and Motivation

Joan

So, here's this thing—we all know power is, like, a big driver in human behavior, right? But, um, isn't it kind of weird how wanting power is usually seen as... I don't know, manipulative, or even selfish? Like, why is that? Aren't we—we're wired to want it, right?

Brunello

Joan, you bring up an interesting point. The desire for power, as Steven Reiss discusses, is indeed universal—part of the human need to achieve and influence. But society often confuses power with control, domination even, which taints its perception. True power, however, is not about subjugating others. It is about... creation, the ability to bring something meaningful into existence, to see one's values reflected in actions and outcomes.

Joan

Are you suggesting that power lies primarily in this creative energy, rather than in making decisions?

Brunello

Exactly. Power, at its core, is intrinsically motivating—it’s about aligning influence with purpose. Reiss frames power as the capacity to achieve personal goals. Imagine, then, not using power as a sword but as a tool—a sculptor’s chisel, perhaps. One doesn't destroy; one builds.

Joan

Okay, I like that. But what about in leadership? I mean, don't you kind of need to... you know, assert your will? Convince people to follow your vision? Isn't that still about dominance?

Brunello

It can appear so, but great leaders don’t thrive on compliance. They ignite commitment, Joan. Empathy and trust are the keystones of enduring influence. Power should lift others, inspire creativity—even spark independent thinking. A trail of compliance, as you put it, often leaves behind hollow victories. But consider when power empowers—when it stirs purpose in others. That is true leadership.

Joan

So, in a way, it’s like a paradox, right? You need power to lead others, but the moment you focus only on control, you’ve kind of... lost the point?

Brunello

Precisely. Leadership is not about being at the top; it's about guiding shared momentum. But this paradox, as you call it, is a distinction many miss.

Brunello

I would like to pose the question: Is it truly power if an individual is pursuing it solely to dominate or control others? Or is it just insecurity wearing a... a mask of strength?

Joan

So, here's this thing—we all know power is, like, a big driver in human behavior, right? But, um, isn't it kind of weird how wanting power is usually seen as... I don't know, manipulative, or even selfish? Like, why is that? Aren't we—we're wired to want it, right?

Brunello

Joan, you bring up an interesting point. The desire for power, as Steven Reiss discusses, is indeed universal—part of the human need to achieve and influence. But society often confuses power with control, domination even, which taints its perception. True power, however, is not about subjugating others. It is about... creation, the ability to bring something meaningful into existence, to see one's values reflected in actions and outcomes.

Joan

Are you suggesting that power lies primarily in this creative energy, rather than in making decisions?

Brunello

Exactly. Power, at its core, is intrinsically motivating—it’s about aligning influence with purpose. Reiss frames power as the capacity to achieve personal goals. Imagine, then, not using power as a sword but as a tool—a sculptor’s chisel, perhaps. One doesn't destroy; one builds.

Joan

Okay, I like that. But what about in leadership? I mean, don't you kind of need to... you know, assert your will? Convince people to follow your vision? Isn't that still about dominance?

Brunello

It can appear so, but great leaders don’t thrive on compliance. They ignite commitment, Joan. Empathy and trust are the keystones of enduring influence. Power should lift others, inspire creativity—even spark independent thinking. A trail of compliance, as you put it, often leaves behind hollow victories. But consider when power empowers—when it stirs purpose in others. That is true leadership.

Joan

So, in a way, it’s like a paradox, right? You need power to lead others, but the moment you focus only on control, you’ve kinda... lost the point?

Brunello

Precisely. Leadership is not about being at the top; it's about guiding shared momentum. But this paradox, as you call it, is a distinction many miss.

Joan

I would like to pose the question: Is it truly power if an individual is pursuing it solely to dominate or control others? Or is it just insecurity wearing a... a mask of strength?

Brunello

That’s exactly right, Joan. And when we shift our lens, seeing power not as a possession but as a dynamic force, it opens up entirely different possibilities. Imagine if more leaders recognized this—how their influence could ripple outward, fostering not just compliance but genuine collective growth. Isn’t that the kind of impact we should strive for?

Joan

Yeah, I mean, when you phrase it like that, it makes me think about leadership in a whole different way. Like, it’s not... just about making decisions or calling the shots. It’s kinda about, um, bringing people together—for something larger than yourself. But, okay... what happens when people step into leadership roles driven for, like, the wrong reasons?

Brunello

An important question. In truth, when leaders pursue power as a means to an end—status or recognition—they may exert control, yes, but often at the expense of trust and authentic influence. On the other hand, those who lead with inner clarity and purpose foster an environment where others feel empowered and valued. Leadership transforms into partnership, Joan, rather than a hierarchy.

Joan

Okay, hold up. That actually reminds me of something from my college days. So, picture this: I ran for president of the student club. I thought, back then, it was about, I don’t know, being ‘in charge.’ Like, having influence, right? But—but here’s the kicker: I realized later that what really motivated me wasn’t the title or the position. It was seeing an idea come to life and, um, watching people get excited about it. It wasn’t about me at all.

Brunello

What a revelation, Joan. That shift—from seeking to lead for self to leading for a shared vision—is a hallmark of intrinsic motivation at work. The distinction here is profound: leadership fueled by purpose becomes, as you mentioned, transformational rather than transactional.

Joan

Yeah, and honestly, chasing recognition? It’s—it’s exhausting. But working toward something meaningful? That—well, it never really felt like work to me.

Brunello

Indeed. Purpose energizes, whereas external recognition often dwindles after the applause fades. The pursuit becomes hollow. Aligning influence with deeply held values ensures that power feeds the soul, not the ego.

Joan

Ah, so it’s not just about what you achieve—it’s about why you wanna achieve it in the first place? That’s pretty powerful.

Joan

Right, so that makes me wonder—what actually shapes someone’s relationship with power? Like, is it more about their personality, their environment, or maybe how those things come together?

Brunello

It’s a fascinating interplay, Joan. For individuals with a strong need for power, there’s pride and a genuine satisfaction in leadership, in influencing outcomes. They feel alive when steering progress or asserting their ideas. Those with lower needs, however, find contentment in supportive roles. They may shy away from assertiveness, favoring harmony over influence.

Joan

Okay, but doesn’t that create tension in teams? For example, what if one individual is focused on achieving specific goals, while another prefers to adapt and adapt?

Brunello

Precisely. Team dynamics often reveal this spectrum. Consider a recent case I studied—one team member thrived on leading discussions and pushing initiatives, while another preferred contributing quietly. Their differing needs initially led to friction. But when the ‘leader’ recognized how the other's thoughtful input supported the team’s success, their roles became complementary.

Joan

Huh. That’s interesting. So, it’s not just about clashing personalities—it’s about appreciating the strengths each brings to the table?

Brunello

Exactly. High power-oriented individuals may naturally take charge, but their success often hinges on the quieter contributions of their low power counterparts. The challenge lies in mutual respect—bridging those differences with empathy and understanding.

Joan

Okay, but emotions... they have to play a huge role here, right? Like, how do these, uh, high-power folks handle setbacks? Do they just bulldoze through, or is it more complicated?

Brunello

It’s more nuanced. High-power individuals often experience intense emotions—pride when succeeding, frustration or even anger when challenged. Their resilience, however, depends on how aligned they are with intrinsic motivation. Those driven by purpose handle setbacks as opportunities to learn and adapt. Conversely, when tied to external validation, rejection can be deeply unsettling.

Joan

Oh man, the frustration thing totally tracks. And what about the low-power folks? Are they just... chill, no matter what?

Brunello

Not always, Joan. While they may seem more relaxed in cooperative environments, situations demanding assertiveness often cause discomfort or anxiety. They may misinterpret leadership as aggression, reacting with resistance rather than collaboration.

Joan

So, let me get this straight... high-power people get frustrated when they’re blocked, and low-power folks can kinda see assertiveness as, like, a threat? That’s—uh, that’s a lot of layers.

Brunello

Indeed. This is why understanding these emotional responses is crucial, both for self-awareness and for fostering harmony within teams.

Joan

Right, so if we’re saying emotional responses and alignment are key, I’m curious—how do we take that next step? Like, if power is this raw force that both drives and divides us, how do we actually steer it toward something constructive? What’s the playbook for making it work?

Brunello

A thoughtful question, Joan. And the 'game plan,' as you call it, begins with vision—an articulation of what one seeks to influence, to create. Think of leaders like Mandela or even Greta Thunberg. Their power lies in their clarity of purpose. They’re not merely asserting influence but advancing causes that inspire collective action.

Joan

Okay, but—wait—let me pause you there. Mandela, Thunberg... they’ve got big-scale visions. What if someone’s power drive is, I don’t know, more personal? Like, mastering a skill, or, um, just influencing their immediate circle?

Brunello

And that, Joan, is equally profound. Power isn’t relegated to grand stages. It operates wherever influence and growth exist. In essence, one’s vision—even if personal or local—must resonate deeply. This purpose sustains motivation during challenges, anchoring power in meaning, not control.

Joan

So you're saying—it’s all about knowing your 'why?' Like, that’s what keeps it grounded?

Brunello

Precisely. Purpose acts as the dance partner of power. Without it, ambition often spirals into ego-driven pursuits. But alongside purpose... power becomes a tool for growth and resilience. Let me offer a story, Joan.

Joan

Ooh, story time. Go on.

Brunello

I was facilitating a multinational workshop years ago—a diverse group with conflicting perspectives. Initially, tensions ran high. I—rather than imposing solutions—decided to step back, encourage candid dialogue, and offer subtle guidance where needed. By fostering autonomy and honoring diverse inputs, the group began collaborating seamlessly. The outcome? Richer ideas and a unified vision, born from collective effort.

Joan

Wow. Alright, so humility. That’s... like the secret sauce? 'Because it sounds like you didn’t just lead—you kind of empowered them to lead themselves.

Brunello

Exactly, Joan. True power uplifts—it doesn’t overshadow. Humility ensures influence is rooted in purpose, respecting the autonomy of others. And this, I believe, is where power transcends control.

Joan

So, let’s call this mindset—it’s not 'me above you,' it’s 'me beside you.' That’s leadership, right?

Brunello

Indeed. Leadership as partnership. And when power aligns with humility, it ripples outward, sparking change far beyond the individual. The paradox, as we discussed, becomes the guide: through empowering others, true influence emerges.

Joan

You know what, Brunello? That’s just it. Power isn’t—well, it’s not the enemy. It’s how we, like, channel it—toward something bigger than ourselves. And when we do... it’s limitless.

Brunello

Beautifully said. Harnessing power with intention transforms it into a force for progress, both personal and communal.

Joan

And with that, I think we’re wrapping up this journey. So, to all our listeners today—what’s your ‘why?’ How will you channel your power? I hope this conversation sparked something for you, like it did for me.

Brunello

Yes, remember, power aligned with values nourishes the soul. Thank you for joining us on this exploration of power and motivation.

Joan

Until next time, everyone. Stay curious, and keep empowering.